"Lyndoodle" by Ohmister Wilson

This painting is my cartoonish interpretation of my son when he was 8 months old. (Notice the drool on the lip) :-)

It's Friday in the U.K.

                                                                

                                                "Anuva Hood" Film Review

                                                                   By

                                                          Ohmister Wilson

                                                                         

*tear* memories

       How long have we waited for a sequel to the original Friday? (Yes, I'm aware that there was Friday After Next and those 10000 other Fridays after!) We all, so desperately, want to see Chris Tucker and Ice Cube reunite on screen just as bad as we all wanted to see Floyd Mayweather fight Manny Paquiao. Remember how people would debate who would win that fight? We now know that Floyd would, most assuredly, hand Manny his own ass on silver platter with extra hot sauce because it would appear that "Pac-Man" is past his prime. The same could be said about a "true" sequel to the original Friday movie. Perhaps seeing Chris Tucker and Ice Cube on film now would come off as a bit forced, therefore making their performances less natural and not what we hoped to expect and ultimately not funny. We will probably never get that "true" sequel of Friday and perhaps it's for the best; so the original Friday can always hold that special place in our hearts.

     However, ask yourself this question? Instead of waiting forever to see if Chris Tucker will appear in another Friday movie, what if the film were re-imagined? Not only re-imagined, but updated and exported to the U.K.? What would a British version of Friday look like, sound like, and would it be any good? Well, this is something that can be answered thanks to a cool little film called Anuva Hood (Anuva = Another, you gotta say it with a British accent to get it right.....try it!).

"Hi ! Why yes I am!"

      Anuva Hood takes places in a small British project (yes they have projects in the U.K.....apparently) in or around 2010.  Upon first glance at the environment, the people, and their mannerisms I immediately thought, "Damn, they just like us!" (me being black, the "us" refers to black people in America, just to clarify). I promise you, if you were to turn off the sound, you could easily see this film taking place in Brooklyn or Baltimore without question. Though, once you turn the sound back on, you will be bombarded with heavy British accents speaking so fast and passionately aggressive (hood) that turning the subtitles on would not be such a bad idea (I watched the film at least 10 times and didn't catch everything that was said UNTIL I watched it with the subtitles). Luckily, the acting in this film is so animated and zany that you can pretty much piece together or get a good idea about what's happening on screen. Furthermore, the language and the acting do enhance the film and although similarities between this film and Friday are apparent, this is still a uniquely fun film experience.

Just me & my book of rhymes

           Anuva Hood follows the daily life of wanna be hip-hop star, small time weed dealer, and full time fuck up/"wasteman" (British word for fuck up/loser/chump) Kenneth. Kenneth, or K as he furiously demands to be called, is played by Adam Deacon (he was also in the film "Kidadulthood " which is also on Netflix and worth watching) Deacon, who is also the director of Anuva Hood, does a great job at evoking a rare emotion from the viewers. Remember, in Friday, how Craig was essentially a lovable loser that kept getting shit (other peoples problems) dumped on top of him? K is an actual loser that creates his own shit and pretty much basks in it. K, through the course of the film, gets beat up (after succumbing to peer pressure), quits his job (so he can purse his rap career),  gets disrespected (by almost every character that has dialogue in the film), gets a lecture on why it is ok to just be yourself (and not a poser) by his friends, and when he actually successfully spits some game to get a girls phone number he blows it (by tearing down the sexual identities of his best friends THEN humping a lamp post....in front of the girl). Be that as it may, you still want K to overcome his self destruction, for some reason. I believe Deacon does a good job at humanizing an otherwise cartoonish/poser-ish character. 

Exhibit A: Who got knocked the fuck out?

           Although there are almost, zero similarities that can be drawn between Craig and K (Craig is black; K looks Middle -Eastern....but has white parents? Craig is average height; K is Napoleon short. Craig has to be convinced and coerced into smoking weed; K is a wake-n-baker 24/7). The biggest and most apparent similarity they do share is their best friend. Craig has Smokey; K has TJ. Although, it's worth mentioning that K dies have a little crew that he runs with (Bookie, Lesoi, and Enrique) TJ is without a doubt K's best friend. TJ, who is played by an actor by the name of Jazzie Zonzolo (that's a African pimp name if I've ever heard one....and I haven't) is the 2010 British replica of Smokey. He even wears his hat backwards in the same fashion as Smokey BUT the 2010 twist is he wears the high tube socks that match his hats and (LOUD) t-shirts seamlessly. As a matter of fact, exactly a minute and a half into the movie, if you are not convinced TJ is a British-Smokey-hybrid, then you need to get "knocked the fuck out!"

Blud = homie or dude

           Quiz time! What character in Friday became so synonymous with bulling that if you yourself do anything that even resembled bullying, you would be called this characters name? (Hint: In the film Anuva Hood he is represented as the character Tyrone). Correct answer: Debo! Tyrone had to of graduated, Magna Cum Laude, from the Debo School of Neighborhood Terrorism. Tyrone, who can be seen a mile away with his Sisqo style blonde hair, terrorizes K and his friends (along with TJ, K has a random crew of mates ) and adds more stress and trouble in their daily lives. In one moment, he lines up K and his friends and gives them a long monologue about why he is so much stronger (he makes K feel his muscles...awkward), smarter, and gets more links (links = girls you hook up with on a regular basis) then them then proceeds to rob them. Although there are many similarities between Debo and Tyrone (if you listen closely they even have the EXACT SAME background music whenever they are on screen) the primary difference between the two (besides hairstyles) is the fact that Tyrone speaks with a very hard lisp. It is hard to understand Tyrone because of his lisp, but his comedic style of bullying and his catchphrases (JACK-A-ROONEY TIME! & NEXT HYPE!) followed by lining his victims up and running their pockets make him as relentless a bully as Debo but with a more comedic side. How many bullies do you know that will steal a man's journal? 

           If you are thinking that this film ends in the same way as Friday you are sorely mistaken. Yes K and Tyrone have an epic showdown but the way in which it plays it is very different (and funnier) then how Craig beats the snot out of Debo. (Tyrone learns a lesson that every man must know, no matter how big and bad you are there is always someone bigger and badder.....and often times that bigger and badder person is a woman). Is this film a direct Friday knock-off? I don't think so, as stated before this is a re-imagining of Friday so while there are some similarities to the classic movie this film does and can stand on its own. (But don't get it twisted, the similarities are there). If you are a fan of Friday, a fan if British film, and/or like seeing black people talk with British accents then you must see Anuva Hood. So go ahead to Netflix and add this film to your instant queue RIGHT NOW!

4 out of 5 (stars)

Exhibit B: You did!

Same yellow background cover as Friday!

Every crew has the hater.

Food = Weed

Smokey is that you??

One of these things is not like the other.

Craig! Get up Craig!!! Wait, my mistake.

Call Tyrooooooone!

HADOUKEN!!!!

THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!

                    


 

Drawings by Ohmister Wilson Vol. 1

These are just some of my works. Hope you enjoy!

Paula Jai Parker Is A Freak, and I Like It: "Sprung" Film Review

I have seen this movie at least 10 times, however, I just watched Sprung for the first time in at least 15 years tonight (Thanks for the nostalgia Netflix). As my wife and I waited  for the film to start, I explained to her how often I used to watch this movie and my deviant reasons for seeing it so many times.  You see, Sprung, used to be apart of the Cinemax 2 a.m. movie line-up or more commonly know as "Skin-a-max" (but really as a 14 year old boy this was the time I locked the door and grabbed my favorite bottle of Jergens). So I would stay up late and watch "Skin-a-max" and more often then not Sprung was one of the movies you would see after Red Shoe Diaries or another movie that focuses on a lot of heavy simulated humping. As a 14 year old boy I only focused on certain (NUDE) parts of the film so now as an adult I was excited to see if the movie was actually any good or if it would only be forever and solely intertwined with me developing my masterbatory style.
           Sprung, was released in theaters in 1997. Now although the film is over 15 years old, it's still very modern in a couple of ways that I believe still make this movie enjoyable to watch but still allows it to keep its time capsule effect. The movie revolves around 4 people who all meet at a party, exchange a few good lies, and of course love and hilarity ensue. The plot in itself isn't that original, but the acting, the clothing, the sexuality, and the mild cartoonish style of the film are executed very nicely.
            The cast for Sprung consists of Rusty Cundieff (Montel), Joe Torry (Clyde), Adina (Paula Jai Parker), and Tisha Campbell (Brandy). The Montel character is one that I as a light skinned/artsy black man could relate to. Cundieff, who is also the director if the film, does a good job making the character easy to like despite his social awkwardness. He's the epitome of a charming fuck up. Montel's best friend, Clyde is quite the opposite. Torry, brings an undeniable personality to the character. Although he's loud, aggressive, a meat head, and really only concerned with getting his dick wet as often as possible, he is redeemed and humanized by the care and concern he shows for his childhood buddy Montel. Now Clyde meets a sexy little freak named Adina at a party. Adina is quintessentially the exact same person as Clyde EXCEPT she does not have to work nearly as hard to fuck whomever she pleases because she's the most powerful creature on Earth, a sexy black woman. I think it's very important to say that she is my favorite character in the film for so many nasty, freaky, filthy, dirty, (did i mention)nasty reasons BUT it's really her personality that shines through her character that is the biggest turn on. Finally, Brandy is the best friend of Adina (however Campbell and Parker look so much alike that I think they could have played sisters) and is in the cross hairs of Montel's love gun. Tisha Campbell plays a character who, in a lot of ways reminds me of her "Gina" character in Martin but with like a 85% sexiness boost.
            As stated previously, one of the draws to the film, in addition to the acting, is the clothing. I'm sure when this film first came out, the attire was not a big deal. But let me tell you, however fly Clyde thinks he is in his suit in the opening scene, it is equally as hilarious 15 years later. Mostly it's funny to see how we used to dress back then (hell who am I to poke fun, in 1997 I had a red and white mesh Nike outfit, and you couldn't tell me SHIT when I wore it to the 1st day of school). However, one reason why I stated that Adina is my favorite character is because of the way she dresses. Her outfits AND her wigs/weaves were way ahead of their time. In fact, I'm almost certain that she has about 8 different wig changes and at least 4 different hair colors throughout the film. It would be easy to see Nicki Minaj playing Adina if there were to be a remake or Sprung (although I don't even think Nicki can play nasty the way Paula Jai Parker does....mmm mmm mmmmmmm!)
            Sex, sex, sex! That's the main way in which one gets another sprung....giving up some amazing, earth bending, messy, skeet skeet, we need new sheets fucking! Sprung definitely has some attention grabbing sex scenes which is why it was my one of my favorite movies to watch prior to my (unfortunate) discovery of Internet porn. The best of the scenes comes pretty early in the film when Clyde and Adina do it. Not the best because the scene is sexy (but it is because Adina displays her tremendous riding skills! Yeeee-haw!) but because it's probably the funniest sex scene in film. Hats off to Joe Torry, not many men would have the balls and the sense of humor to let a woman throw their legs up in the air and dominate them on film like that.
        The final unique quality of this film is the cartoonish undertone it has. From getting bonked on the head and seeing birds and stars to the elaborate imagination cut aways (Family Guy style) you can't help but be tickled seeing such cartoonish antics in a R rated black romantic comedy. I think this is directly attributed to the time in which this movie was conceived. You see 1997 was the Puff Daddy/Busta Rhymes, fish eye lense, brightly colored, cartoony music video era (or what I like to call it, the good ol days when music videos were creative and over the top). Back then a black person could be goofy or even silly and still be considered cool and didn't have to worry about the abstract thought of "keeping it real".
          Ultimately, what did I learn from watching a movie that once previously served as a part of my "Jergens Sleep Aid Kit"? Well, that once I got over the sexuality of the film (which apparently has taken me 15 years to be mature enough to overcome) that this movie is FUCKING HILARIOUS! I'm happy I re-watched this film as an adult because I got every joke and innuendo thus time. A lot of conversations went over my head as a young teen and all I knew of this movie then was that there were black people and they are fucking and Adina/Paula Parker is a freak.....and I like it. Also, I enjoyed this film because it's interesting to see how people dated and interacted with one another pre cell phones and facebook. There is a scene in the film in which Montel sends a letter to Brandy so that they could reconnect. That shit does not happen now! 2012 Montel would have shot Brandy a text and posted on her wall. I not only recommend this film but if you have Netflix and 2 hours to kill then load this movie up and get ready to laugh and grab you a bottle of Jergens.

*Rating: 7/10